Author Archives: Luke William Collard

Baboon Hits The Road

Baboon floats down Boulevard Street to the 24-hour store. He’s just been released from the Fransdorf Community Hospital, where he had gone after eating a maggot infested Meatball Serenade™ sandwich. It is 5:05 a.m. and Baboon’s ecto-rectum is still stinging … Continue reading

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TomorrowCar Presents: A Funeral for John Hollister Rotten. Part 1.

Below is the official funeral transcript exactly as it was Xeroxed from the TomorrowCar Corporation archives. The service took place at the TomorrowCar Chapel on May 27, 2017. The famous journalist Agnes O’Houlihan was hired as the typist for the ceremony. … Continue reading

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Excerpt from PRESIDENT TAFT, OF THE COLLEGE (1973) by Woodrow Slurginz

Obese Driggands College President William Taft, also known as President Laffy Tafty, a relative of rever’d obese American President William Howard Taft, order’d Professor Henry Slurginz to advance his primitive Transhuman Tonic to a most refined Medicology, to hence be … Continue reading

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Heaven’s Devils, a sestina from HARLAX

Creepy Rick and the Bunch bought Puch mopeds, ridin’ around, new life abounds, so groovy, like buyin’ a sword, new life, more energy, at least for Rick. Get out of the house, ride around, off the sofa, no more a … Continue reading

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Dick Wolff. Reclaiming Expressivism. 2015

Throughout history as a whole, certain events have forced uncouth ideologies into our bodies through popular mind culture. Let’s accept it, we love to exit conformist society through expressivism: a mode of mindful concept-channeling not limited to the laboratory. Yet … Continue reading

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Dick Wolff. Pioneering Community Through the Invigorating “Meta-Space” Processes. 2015

We are all a part of a community in desperate need of invigoration. This includes individuals with a function as well as those without a function. To cultivate a sense of community among these individuals takes a transference of ideals … Continue reading

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A Word from Our Rotten Sponsor, Johnny Rotten, from Down the Hall

In this post-Santa Clause, pre-apocalyptic world we inhabit, it is time enough at last to create our own reality. That is to say, keep doing what we’re already doing. As we mutate toward the dancing night, we howl at our … Continue reading

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