Category Archives: Uncategorized

What kind of damn ding-dong-dilly are you, Samuel L. Jackson? An open letter.

So I watched this movie Deep Blue Sea the other night, and now I’m pissed off. I’m sick and tired of these motherfucking sharks eating this motherfucking Samuel L. Jackson. It keeps playing in my mind like some terribly rendered … Continue reading

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Should Have Called It Circleville

A man and wife awake in a strange town. This town happens to be a town that should have been called Circleville, but as it happens, it is in fact called Centerville. “Oh, okay, strange,” says Man to Wife, who … Continue reading

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Nach’yer Daddy’s Straight Gin to Brandy-VD Movie: ONE

We here at the blog are not under the influence, to produce award-winning, triple A-list blockbusting, family video chart-hitting, Dutchtowning, Cannesing, Sundancing, Holly-Wood inducing films, of booze. And to prove, despite the strong metaphorical whiff of hard stuff on the … Continue reading

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Excerpt from MONK ON THE MAT (working title)

Note: The following is a short scene from our latest feature-length screenplay, set in early twentieth century Chicago.   INT. LORENZO MARTINI’S OFFICE – NIGHT The BOY enters the outer room of LORENZO MARTINI’S office. Two POLICE OFFICERS and SQUEAKY … Continue reading

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On Location Reporting: The North American Hypernormal and Pararegular Fair

The North American Hypernormal and Pararegular Fair is put on every total-eclipse-of-the-sun for the five days leading up to the eclipse and the day of the eclipse. It is a time when the enthusiasts of the hypernormal and pararegular communities … Continue reading

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The Moon Landings: Where are your tax dollars really going and did the government know the whole time!?????

Many cycles of the moon have passed since Luke and I first embarked on a mission to understand the moon and its so called landings. What on earth is going on here!  Is the moon a perfectly tossed Frisbee? If the … Continue reading

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Particles of Light: Just Say No!

[A MESSAGE FROM Allen 0] Dear readers, I regret to inform you that this is the last time you will be hearing from me. My experiment with the particles of light is complete. The bloody and irreversible results, and I … Continue reading

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